Also, people may have to use specific strongly smelling products because of their own medical needs. Theres no way that none of them have even one Powder Fresh or Ocean Breeze or Fresh Cotton or Freesia Delight product in their lives. If some of these ideas dont work, I might try asking her, What, exactly, are you smelling? Or, stay home until you feel better. Is she hassling the other people in your office? It may not register with me that Im smelling something, but if Im in a good mood and start getting irritable for no apparent reason, I usually think about the smells around me to identify the culprit. It seems like you are already doing everything it is reasonable to ask a person to do (and possibly more). This. I think we can all agree that the best outcome would be for OP to shave her head, live in a sterilization chamber, and wear a new sterile smock every day. FWIW, our former college president was sensitive to smells. Perhaps he has the scent-free version that my two cents mentioned. Im hoping it doesnt escalate to that point, but Im glad youre out of that situation now! Problem is, no one around you sees the flames or senses the heat, so they have no sense of urgency to bolt for the doors. I posted this under Rhinitis because it's the closest thing I've found so far. In what universe is poop + really strong, cheap perfume the preferable smell? Im going to talk to my manager about a possible accommodation (e.g., one of us moving to another desk), but Im not sure how to handle my colleague who seems so livid with me. Id also be thanking Boss for talking to you. Those are lengths to which I am totally unwilling to go to accommodate someone at work and I feel are things that no one has the right to ask of a coworker. Its one thing to say dont wear perfume/aftershave/etc at work. (And even if she werent, the co-worker is clearly going about this the wrong way!). Yes!! Jerk. Has your boyfriend gone to an ENT? Then try to have a calm, sensible conversation with someone while exposed to that irritant. This is a coworker/management problem, not an OP needs to take special tablets and buy a new bedspread problem. Before I purchased the humidifier I googled it & found other was somy house won't be so dry. She is a jerk but she may imagine she smells patchouili because it is so associated with you. I once tried to get a stain out for her which required washing and drying the same garment 4 times in a row.and yep, perfume was still there, almost as strong as before. Or make sure youre using a powerful, unscented detergent. That said, I do have scented shampoo because there are like 3 on the market that are unscented, most of which I cant afford. I think the people talking about scent associations are right on the money. There was no mention of this in the letter. If this were me, I would tell coworker Ive done what I can and she can take it to the boss or HR if she feels more should be done. If you are using natural cleaners those do have a scent. Complaints may be about your work performance or personality. So one day I stopped accommodating completely. It's possible that it's lingering in a way that you don't realize. And if that doesnt work, go to HR. Even if she still can smell something on you that youre not noticing, shes not bringing it up in a productive way at all exaggerated sniffing and snarky comments are not helping anything! Advertising on our site helps support our mission. Granted you should tone it down at work, but I and everyone else is allowed to smell like the body wash or shampoo or hand lotion of their choosing. Theres also one interesting study that indicates some peoples chemical sensitivity is indistinguishable from an anxiety hyperventilation response, and another that indicates anti-anxiety treatment was helpful in mitigating a fragrance sensitivity. 15) She makes you feel special. Im just glad this is a common enough problem that most hotels use unscented products to wash their linens or Id have to travel with a sleeping bag. Whats Causing That Salty Taste in Your Mouth? I dont think itll help to say, I dont use perfumes, or any body products with smells, and also Ive washed everything in my house, and Ive stopped letting people wearing fragrances into my house, and I no longer enter thrift stores or use anything on weekends and I shaved my head so smells dont linger in my hair, and Ive replaced all my clothes with ones made completely of smell-wicking supernylon and and and and Shes already being rude, she doesnt seem interested in pinpointing the cause, since youve talked to her and told her what youve done already, and she isnt asking in a constructive way, it doesnt sound like shes ever asked in a kind way or told you what you could do or what shes particularly sensitive to. Its your co-workers responsibility to go to their supervisor with a request for accommodation, doing the formal form filled out by a physician versus going to you each time she doesnt like the way you smells when you have done everything that you can do to accommodate her. I dont know what shes smelling, but Ive done everything I can reasonably do to accommodate her needs. I get extremely annoyed when my husband tells me to blow my nose. 7)Constant messaging and texting Constant communication at work (as well as at home) is a very very good sign of friendship and mutual understanding. But whenever I smell patchouli, I think of my mom many years ago, and its comforting. I share a house with my mother; she uses fabric softener and her preferred detergent. I don't know what I would do without them some days. ;). Its a classic case of the cure being worse than the disease. I empathize with those who have trouble controlling their sniffles because sometimes even the best, most consistent health care cant turn off the faucets in your face, and no amount of tissues in the world will ever be enoughbut f*ck is that repeated sound awful. Unscented my butt. should I be so emotionally drained by managing? For instance, if you're on the phone with a customer, do not hang up on them as soon as they start cursing. She might be unwittingly attributing what she smells to you for the simple reason your scents bothered her. Usually, your best bet is to start your sentences with "I" or keep the focus on yourself -- it's less accusatory. His family would get so angry about it when he was younger. Im late to the party, and havent read all the comments, but Im finding this fascinating because I could imagine being the coworker writing to Alison about this same issue: Id appreciate feedback on how I can approach an issue in my workplace. This feels very much like using HR to bully an employee while acting like the victim. Allergies suck man. I think this can have a lot to do with body chemistry, too I have one essential oil blend made for me that has a lot of layers, but the one that lasts the longest is kind of a candle-smoke scent. I would have straight up refused to change my personal habits in such a way. And people tend to become immune to the smell of their own parfume so they wear much more than they need to..which is essentially overkill and obnoxious to everyone around them. Your nose remembers stuff your brain just doesnt and makes huge amounts of connections. I dont think its reasonable for her to avoid a scent just because someone somewhere might hate it. Make yourself the squeaky wheel and stop letting her harass you and bully you. Oh gosh, nothing makes you paranoid like cat pee. Being 100% scent-free is really, really hard and takes a lot of lifestyle changes most people arent willing to make for someone they only see during the day, 5 days a week. Thats worth adjusting a hair /skin/laundry care routine for so someone doesnt accidentally kill them or put them in the hospital. I started in the last year of primary school, I also drive my family insane and myself it's so irritating, it's as if I can't breathe and my nose is inflamed or tight and I need to sniff to clear it even though there's nothing there, it's really embarrassing and it tried loads of nasal sprays and even been to ent had a camera up my nose but he couldn't see anything. Now I don't know what to do. But some people never stop being bullies, or they become bullies in adulthood because theyre tired of being powerless. Ive also been wearing my oils since I started, and she only just complained about it a month ago. I also dislike the smell of lavender altogether. and was thinking well, that might be awkward enough to end the whole thing and then you said exactly that :). Shes never complained before now about my perfume, and Im sure she would mention if she was having health issues based on it. Although one important difference was that the LW in that case was the allergic co-workers boss, so they needed to be able to have private conversations some times. I hate the taste/smell of passion fruit now because of some misadventures involving passion fruit-flavored rum that happened over a year ago. I do think at that point she would need to differentiate between something merely existing and something being a problem, though. Because apparently I couldnt resist saying that chicken definitely has at least as much innate flavour as any other meat, just different. And it smelled *horrible* and wouldnt come out; I tried vinegar and Oxi-clean after about five washes and that seemed to help. I think a lot of people like the stuff you put on chicken; by itself, it doesnt taste like much. My stomach turns, I get stomach problems, my skin itches and my face turns red, headacheshowever, I also hate the smell of unscented products. Its possible that its lingering in a way that you dont realize. That sucks you can't have headphones in. It was only when I went on vacation with friends and that was the only whiskey sold at the bodega near where we were staying that I managed to drink it again. Oils and fragrances with higher concentrations of aromatic compounds have more longevity but, in general, less sillage than their alcohol-based and/or less concentrated counterparts. That said, I havent seen a lot of patchouli-scented hair products (I mean, maybe 1-2 from the natural shampoo section? Im not, and Ive told her Im not. (As an irrelevant aside, one time I actually WAS right and I DID smell pee because the little expletive deleted peed INTO A FAN so there wasnt any visible mess, just a magical pee smell blower. Agreed. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. Honestly, as someone with deadly allergies, Id appreciate the effort you were putting in. If not, there you are. As someone who is very sensitive to scents, I just wanted to say to the LW how NICE it is that you put in so much effort to be un-scented! I agree! The human brain is able to play some crazy tricks on us. Telecommuting, or disability, at that point. My office chair has cloth arms, and my thought process is that maybe some of the oils are lingering on these items, and when the OP is sitting in the chair, or putting her arms on the desk, her body warmth could cause the scents to be noticeable? I meant no offense and should have not used the word disgust. 7. He was like a little cloud of toxic masculinity. I used to enjoy perfume, but now find that even the slightest hint of perfume or essential oil can trigger a bad headache. Ive been even more sensitive to it with the pregnancy, and yet I wouldnt dream of asking students to quit smoking before coming to class because I cant make that request from them. I am sensitive to fragrance. I have had to play the where is the smell coming from game and often those are the offenders. This could be the co-workers version of thermostat wars. Decisions are made. A chronic sinus infection might not have any symptoms other than ongoing drainage, Dr. Reisman says. My bosses and I came up with some unique ways to handle my problem until I finally got a remote job for the same company. Outside of behavioural therapy, I dont know how this could be fixed other than moving the coworkers desk away from the LWs. Id be very hungry around someone who smelled like cookies, but its not an unpleasant scent at all! Never disregard the medical advice of your physician or health professional, or delay in seeking such advice, because of something you read on this Site. Fine. At this point, the coworker really needs to be talking with her boss or HR to figure something out. I so rarely tell anyone if their perfume or whatever bothers me (especially since it is often some other product that it scentedpeople who use scented detergents can smell really strongly to me) because it seems so loaded. give you the smell test. Yes, my indie oils are my perfume. Ask your manager to move your desk if the faint scent of a lotion used the night before bothers you that much. I mean, what more should the OP be asked to do? If co-worker seeks you out to complain about the smell, then shes just being a snot, and trying to stir up trouble. The scent I was wearing the day she complained wasnt even actually patchouli, although I admit that I have loved the smell of patchouli since my ill-advised goth phase in high school. For me, my comments were about where the smell could still be coming from, since OP seems baffled that they could be smelling like anything after all theyve done to eliminate smells from their person. I dont have any advice, but I am wondering how it is fair or reasonable that the OP should even have to make all of these concessions at her own expense because her coworker wont stop picking on her. Focus on her behavior rather than any more placating action on your part. If things don't improve, tell your boss that things haven't improved. I have some sympathy for people with asthma, etc, but I have to admit not as much as others on the board. Im surprised at the amount of comments that are focusing solely on how to ensure you emit no fragrances. I think its time for OP to otherwise adopt a broken record response, like Nope, not wearing any perfume today. Im not giving these things as excuses or to say its more important than somebodys life, just giving more variables as to why guaranteeing a scent-free environment is pretty much impossible past a certain point. But do what Alison suggests. If the co-worker keeps complaining, Id see if maybe someone else in the office can do a smell check to see if anyone else notices and can back you up if theres a complaint that day. His constant sniffling - Anyone know what might be causing this? We got fried chicken and rode the train home together . It's really annoying. The thing is the shoe sniffing was accidental, not intentional. My best advice is to follow Alisons script and see if being told nicely that youve done what you can, and that she needs to quit bullying you. My female coworker puts on a lot of perfume. (Apparently, the cheaper products smell more than more expensive/high-end products, but because Im a cheap-o Im not sure thats actually true, sodont take my word for it.). *Hugs* to you. Just because she can smell something doesnt mean its bothering her. Im also all for respecting that people respond differently to things so I hope this isnt just me going off my own instincts, but I think banning wearing perfume and colognes in the workplace is acceptable in a way that banning lotion and dryer sheets and bodywash at home just is not. And one year when I was a broke college student, the place where I worked had basically an endless supply of get a meal 1/2 off coupons from Moes, which was next door to the store and made it the cheapest full meal I could get most days. It is very distinct to those of us with sensitivities. I would go to HR myself and complain that I am being harassed by a co-worker who in spite of your having ended wearing the perfume that bothered her is waging a campaign of harassment against you. Your dog may follow the ill dog around more than usual and may spend a lot of time . Yes Tom Ford has a fragrance called White Patchouli that I refer to as my rich hippie perfume. Is it at all possible that after a long time of using scents theyre settled into a chair or the office? But if OP doubled down and insists that they dont actually smell, they will frankly not hold as string a position as if they continue to be open to learning about ways they might be bringing patchouli scent to the office. .true story, I made my partner change laundry detergents after wed been together a few months. Ugh, this. But I also think it can be Pavlovian, where you see the person you identify with a scent and smell it, even if theres no actual scent around you. I wish this was more helpful to the OP. Im not going to never use it ever because of that. I told my supervisor and somehow it got handled. With my coworker, it gets bad every few weeks. Almost everyone I know who wears that kind of scent is white, and I really hope that OP is, too. While I do believe that those people are offering these suggestions in good faith, I also think that this is absolutely the wrong track to take. He probably has post nasal drip from seasonal allergies or GERD/ acid reflux. So while your ailment might be legitimate, running from the room or suddenly grabbing your forehead when you smell someone these behaviors ARE going to seem rude and you might have to accept that and live with being known as rude. No, I think youre absolutely normal with your dislike of various scents! Been over 10 years now. Reactions like these to normal everyday stimuli, and those of Firebolt below, are extreme. B: Acknowledging that something is a bad thing. Theres a point at which the OP is entitled to stop trying to change her life to accommodate this, and that point is now, given how unhelpful and rude the coworker is being. . Love this anecdote. But it also brings up the question of why the coworker all of a sudden has fragrance sensitivities if last month was the first time it was brought up. (One of the worst smells for me is certain types of cigarette smoke: I dislike all of them, but some brands trigger a sinus headache, or a migraine if Im around them too long. Is your nose running a marathon? Smelling those faintly on other people is a fact of life; theyre very commonly used products. The last few days its been cold, windy and raining. If your coworker continues the comments after these conversations, then at that point, say this: Clearly this isnt something we can resolve on our own. I would imagine it must smell much different to those that like patchouli because I would never call the scent I smell pleasant. We have placed a box of tissues on her desk, they are unused. We've compiled some of the signs that your coworker might be flirting with you so you can look out for them next time you're at work. Am I the only one whos honestly shocked about how were trying to make the OP tiptoe around her co-worker? Your coworkers shoot you irritated looks as you clear your throat (again). I totally agree I know the OP is trying to do her best, and is frustrated about where this could be coming from. Your tissue box might get a little lonely, I dont even own any alcohol-based spray-type perfumes, just oils and solid perfumes, and I still refer to them all as just perfume, so I think thats what OP meant. Youre right that at this point shes probably already tried most or all of these things it really does sound like the OP is being extremely accommodating! They should only be sniffing when you give them their release word (like "Break" or "Ok"). It seems pretty clear to me that she was referring to essential oils as a subset of perfume, and when she said she stopped wearing perfume she stopped wearing the oils too. I agree. To me, the onus on coworkers to alter their scent behavior ends at requiring them to change their personal care products. Im trying to come up with something constructive like the rest of the comments, but all that keeps going through my head is why are you so obsessed with me? a la Mean Girls. I was so sick that night. In the content I consume (friend groups/random internet threads, etc) Ive seen patchouli used more as a synonym for hippie smell than in reference to actual patchouli. Maybe its something as easy as lingering scent in a jacket; if you dont wear the jacket the scent isnt there. At this point, its pretty ridiculous to ask LW to do more. If its that severe, then the person who has that reaction needs to be figuring out their own way to avoid things, not putting the entire burden of it on their coworkers. The immune response necessary for an allergic reaction cant be caused by synthetic chemicals. After everything LW has gone through, she has more than complied. Even on the beach, swimming, walking etc. It didnt occur to me because we do work closely on my project, but I guess theres no reason that necessarily has to be physical closeness. So I do what I can to not work right next to those coworkers with triggering scents, and ignore the ones that are just annoying or that I just dont like. This exact thing happened to me with Hersheys chocolate and a stomach bug when I was a kid. I try and blow my nose, and when Im alone in the rest room, I even pick it to try and clear it out. They just arent my preference, but barring a health related consequence of great severity, I would never dream of asking anyone to change their scent of choice. The other coworker who was complained about took an internal transfer. These are all instances she smelled. I think those comments are more along the lines of eliminate every possible culprit so that you can prove its not you, That and the How can you make her stop already (other than addressing it with her). 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